Wedding Traditions

While I was in town, one of Emily's roommates was getting married and I crashed the wedding. The wedding was terrific and everyone was very gracious to a stranger from out of town. Even though the preacher tried to marry the bride to the best man and the wedding cake never showed up, it was a very joyous and fun occasion.

I've been to two weddings this summer: Dylan and Audra (the Kings, below top) in June and now Peter and Rachel (the Coils, below bottom). At both weddings, I wore flip flops to the reception. Both are also among the most fun I've been to in a while.


I was thinking of wedding traditions and there are some that I hate. Take it with a grain of salt, since I'm not really a "wedding guy" either. But I can't stand:

- The garter and bouquet toss. Silliness. Most singles don't want to be there. When's the last wedding where you saw guys pushing, shoving and diving for the garter like it was a loose football? I've never gone to a wedding and thought, "Oooh, I want to catch the garter today so I can be married soon."
- "Electric slide" and "Chicken Dance". Thankfully, the last few weddings I have been at the couple have requested these not be played. Again, I can't remember the last wedding I went to and thought, "Man, I'm gonna rock the Electric Slide tonight." Oh wait, I've never thought that.
- Just about anything involving the cake. Cutting the cake is sweet. Smashing the cake in face is tacky, except with certain people. Also, the idea of eating my wedding cake a year later has little appeal to me. I'd rather go to the Purple Onion or a seafood buffet.
- Dollar Dance with the bride. Sorry, too close to prostitution. If I ever get married, I will not be pimping my wife.

Here are some traditions I do like:
- Exchanging of vows. Yes, I know, that's the whole point. But every marrying couple does it a bit different. Some are visibly nervous. Some cry. Some laugh. But committing the rest of your life to one person, in the sight of God and all the witnesses present is quite amazing. I never tire of seeing it.
- Toasts. When they are sincere and heartfelt, I could toast all night. With or without champagne.
- Dancing with the parents. You know, it's sweet to see the groom dance with his mother. But it's even more special to see the bride dance with her father. Best dance all night.
- Decorating the car. Mostly, as a responsible groomsman, because I've been a part of this several times. As long as you follow the rules: Nothing gets broken or damaged and stay off the paint. Other than that? Marbles are fair. Balloons okay. Stuffed penguins, sure. Naked mannequins, mostly fine.

Agree, disagree? Did I leave anything off. Feel free to comment.